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We're traveling at half the speed of smell.
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What happened was we took off from the Flagstaff Airport, Hair Care and Tire Center there. Like a pack of gum with eight people in it. I was flying from Flagstaff, Arizona to Phoenix, Arizona because my manager doesn't own a globe."Have you spent half your life in bars, pursuing sins of the flesh?" This guy's good! "Are you sitting in a beanbag chair, naked, eating Cheetos?" YES, SIR! "Do you feel the urge to get up and send me a thousand dollars?" Close! I thought he was talking about me there for a second! Apparently, I'm ain't the only cat on the block that digs Cheetos. He's a televangelist from Dallas, and uh, he was staring at me. , I was flippin' through the television and I saw Robert Tilton. Yesterday, I was sitting on a beanbag chair naked, eating Cheetos and.I'm hoping I'm one big turd away from backing into an old wardrobe. You ever take a crap so big, your pants fit better? Anybody ever do that? You ever.I'm hoping that happens to me later tonight, 'cause these babies don't fit anymore.And he goes, "Well, apparently, sir, you don't get it." ".I'm listenin'." He goes, "These glasses block 100% of all UV rays." I'm like, "No, apparently you don't get it this thing decodes a digital satellite signal it picks up from outer-fucking-space!" And then it turned out the glasses got basic cable and I felt like a dickhead. And I told him-and this is true-that two weeks ago, I bought a 25" color television set from Wal-Mart for $218. And I asked the guy, very politely, "How do you sleep at night, ya little prick?" You know what I mean? Always just wonderin'. Here's the question: Why does a pair of sunglasses cost more than a 25-inch color television set? I go to the Sunglass Hut. Uh, I lost my sunglasses and yesterday I went to the Sunglass Hut. I'd like to start off this show by asking you all a question, cause I don't know the answer.1.7 If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (2018 Netflix special).1.4 Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again.